Showing posts with label Alcohol Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alcohol Jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Drunk Man’s Blog



I just realized that we have 10,000 pages of alcohol information on the Drunk Mans Guide, and not one quote from Norm.

We’re going to fix that right now! Following are some great lines from Norm in Cheers:
Coach: How are you doing, Norm?
Norm: Cut the small talk and get me a beer.
Woody: How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Pretty nervous if I was in the room.
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what’s up?
Norm: The warranty on my liver.
Coach: Beer, Norm?
Norm: I heard of that stuff. Better give me a tall one in case I like it.
Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
Norm: No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.
Coach: Beer, Norm?
Norm: Does a rag doll have cloth knobs?
Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm: Daddy wuvs you.
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, you got room for a beer?
Norm: Nope, but I am willing to add on.
Sam: What will you have, Norm?
Norm: Well, I’m in a gambling mood, Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
Sam: Oh, looks like beer, Norm.
Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.
What’s doing, Norm?
“Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig.”
How’s it going, Mr. Peterson?”
“Poor.”
I’m sorry to hear that.
“No, I mean pour.”
Talk about Oral History!! Here’s a historical Cocktail you might like to make! It’s the 10th Anniversary of the Famous Blue Dress and Monica, and the Oval Office, and Mr. Bill. To make yourself feel better, make a Lewd Lewinski. The recipe is perfect, really, try it.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Helpful Hints - How to Hide Something from Yourself

There are times when it is beneficial to forget where you put something. No, I’m not talking about your car keys when you’ve had a few too many at a friend’s house. I’m talking about serious things that could be used against you in a court of law, or the secret government plans you stole off a dead Russian, or a really good bottle of Scotch.

You need to hide these things because, let’s face it, you can’t trust you!

Up until now it has been impossible to actually forget where you put the thing because, try as you might, the more you try to forget where you put it, the more you think about where it is.

Fortunately, we at DMG Labs have developed a perfect method of hiding something from yourself. In the interest of science, we have included detailed instructions here: How To Hide Something From Yourself.

Choice Drinks For Today: